Hi everyone.... I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there in J-land!!! I hope everyone had an enjoyable and safe day yesterday.. I know I ate till I almost burst so I hope everyone else did the same :)
I haven't been on here because unfortunately my anxiety disorder has been acting up.... I have been feeling terrible this past week and a half... I am scared that something terrible is going to happen to me... I am scared that there is something wrong with my heart or lungs and that I am going to die any minute...Its been terrible..I have this feeling that I cant breathe alll day long and its driving me crazy. Its my own fault though becuase I stopped drinking my meds in september because my prescription ran out and I was too busy to go to my doctor to get my meds. So here I am back to square 1. I finally did go to the Doctor and she gave me my meds(Zoloft) but it hasnt kicked in yet and I ccant shake this dispairing feeling that something is very wrong with me.....I know its all in mind because I have been feeling like this for going on 2 weeks and I am still alive ...(if it was a heart attack or a lung problem god forbid I wouldnt be sitting here wrting this) But as you all know the mind is a very powerful thing and just by thinking something you can actually feel it. Just to be on the safe side my doctor referred me to a Cardiologist and I am going to be put on a 24 hr holter on Monday and then on Tuesday I take it back and they will do an Echocardiogram and an EKG. I pray that everything comes out ok.. I took these test six years ago and everything came out good except EKG which shows Right Brundle Branch Block which at certain times can be life threatening but after doing some more test it was determined that I fell into a catergory where a certain percentage of women have this and it means nothing(supposedly ...though I nver had this before) anyway we'll see what happens..I just hope I can get a hold on this anxiety before its starts controlling me...I already have not been going to work because I dont want to travel alone because I am scared something will happen to me....This thing can take over your whole life believe me! I CAN NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME I HAVE 3 KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF!!!
My doctor also prescribed me Ambien because for the past month I can not for the love of God sleep at night!!! WHEN I GO THE PHARMACY TO HAVE PRESCRIPTION FILLED I FIND OUT THAT FREAKING MEDICAID NO LONGER PAYS FOR THIS MEDICATION AND IF I STILL WANTED THEM I WOULD HAVE TO PAY OVER 150.00 WTF I DO NOT HAVE THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY TO DISH OUT LIKE THAT! SO I GUESS I WONT BE SLEEPING...:(
GOODNIGHT ALL AND TAKE CARE!
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