Now I just sit and wait......

                                        

 

 

Soooo I finally got all the test done. The only thing to do now is sit and wait for the results. It just doesnt make sense that they give me an appt to actually speak with a cardiologist so that he can give me the results all the way on Jan 29th. So that means if something were wrong with me I wouldnt know nothing until a about a mth and a half from now! Unbelievable!

 

I am just trying to remain calm. I'm also trying to think positive, that there is nothing wrong. Thats the only thing to do because otherwise I would just go crazy.

 

I finally had it out with my landlady... She just got me to my last nerve and as much as I was trying to let her slide and not say anything I just couldnt keep quiet anymore. Last straw was when my mom in law  told me that my landlady called her and told her "Is this a game Steph and Ben are trying to play with me.  I am annoyed that I have been calling them over and over and leaving messages and no one is returning my calls. I MUST speak to someone in that house. What the F*&^$ is her problem ?  Are we supposed to drop whatever we are doing to call her back just so that she can hear our voice??  So I called her and I gave her a piece of my mind. I let her know that NOOO we are not playing games with her and that she knew us long enough to know that we are not like that!! I also let her know that I was not feeeling well at all to sit and play her games and that I DID NOT appreciate her calling everyone in the damn building to ask them if they knew where I was. I also let her know that NO I did not have to call her once a week just to let her know what was going on. We have lives of our own that unfortunaltely DO not revolvearound her. Her response was "BUT you know that I love you like my daughter and that I just want to find out if everything was ok with you and what would you do in my situation?? I told her that I would assume that something was going on that the people were busy and that they would call back as soon as they wanted to. I wouldnt go hunting them down becuase that it very disrespectful. If she loved me like such a daughter why did she tell my mother in law "Well let them know that their rent is due and that I need it..... That was the reason why she was calling, it wasnt because she wanted to know how I was... I dont want to hear that. SO I put her in place and I let her know for future times that if she calls and I do not answer then she just has to sit and wait till I give her a call back whether it be tomorrow , next week, or next mth!!

 

I know my entries have been boring lately , LOL, I apologize but nothing  really exciting has happened lately. I am planning on putting my Xmas tree. Maybe that will bring the holiday spirit out in us.

Kiddies are doing fine Thank God! I am still taking my son to the Pyshcologist. He is just now starting to open up. SO hopefully we will get to the core of his issues. Do you think children tend to make things up to see what kind of reaction they can get from their parents?? At what age should children let their imaginary friends go??

 

Ben and I are doing fine .... though we havent been intimate for a about a mth now. I feel so bad but I just cant get myself to be in the mood. Worrying about myself I am neglecting him. He doesnt say anything but I know it bothers him everytime he goes to touch me and I turn away. I pray that we can get through this and that I start to be myself again or else I think that I will lose him. I mean how much can a person take??

 

Well this is going to be it for now...since I made this entry early I may be back later with another.