I can not believe they raised the prices on the Long Island Rail Road!!! They raised it $3.00. DAmmmmn..... Just last year it was just $6.00 now its $9.50!!! Even children pay but at least they have something called family fare, so my kiddies went on for .75 cents each....
Yesterday my mom and I decided to take a ride down to see my brother and the baby... it was a nice little family get together..Hardly no arguing ..except when we went to eat at McDonalds and my mom decided to catch a fit because she couldn't understand why she was spending 10.00 on their food(hers and my sister's) Helloooo since when was McDonald's cheap....Oy but you gotta love them :)
My lil niece is getting so big and beautiful...but boy does she have a set of lungs on her!!! She cries a lot , they believe that she might have colic....UH OH!! I hope she doesn't because that would be so tough for them.
No ride back on the rail road my brother ended up bringing us home, which was a relief!
Yesterday I was laying in bed reading and I literally felt like I was going to die..... outof nowhere I started getting this weird feeling...like I started getting a cold/hot sensation run through my body...I was sweating but at the same time I was feeling cold...I started to feel like I couldn't breathe and I felt kind of faint.... I started to panic because I don't know why all of a sudden I was feeling this way..... then my chest started to hurt and I started to think that somehow I was having a heart attack....I started to wake up Ben but he was knocked out and I felt kind of embarrassed waking him up because I wasn't sure if it was a panic or anxiety attack.... But I cant see how I would have one of those attacks when I wasn't thinking about anything I was just lying there reading ..How can a panic/anxiety attack just come out of nowhere....Obviously it wasn't a heart attack I am still here(thank God) but then what was it??? Am I sick should I go to the doctor or should I not worry about it because maybe it was just an attack.....I was on zoloft but since my prescription ran out I have not taken it and that was about one month and a half ago... I don't know but it sure was scary.... I was supposedto wash clothes today but last night's little episode has me all shook up.... One little episode like that and I am back to square one where I am scared to go out alone. I am scared that something will happen to me while I am out...THIS SUCKS because I have been doing so good.... I dont want to go back to the days when I couldn't do anything by myself and when I was always thinking that something is wrong with me..... I hope I can overcome this...I need to because I have to work..I have to pick up my kids from school... All I was thinking about when I felt like that was "God what's going to happen to my babies???, Who is going to take care of them like I do if I am not here??... How can Ben take care of them on his own??? I pray to God that nothing happens to me until my babies are grown responsible adults who are able to take care themselves. It's too scary too even think about how my children would be without me.
I am going to try and write about my struggle with having this anxiety thing and how it changed my life forever..( I did not always have this , I got this in 2000 when my daughter was born) I didnt write about it earlier because it would bring back bad memories.... But I will try.....Even writing about what happened yesterday is making me feel nervous and faint.. Let me get off this topic for now....
It seems like things might be picking up for us financially.... I was given a raise at work and Ben is expecting a very very good promotion in January... I pray this happens... For now we are caught up in the bills and hopefully we can stay this way so that we can start our X-mas shopping... I always say that I am not going to get anyone because I can't afford it but then was always end doing it anyway.
I have been trying since I started this journal to learn how to add a background to my entries and also how to add music to them....any ideas???
Well I am going to go clean up a lil, might be back a lil later... OHHHH by the way did anybody else experience soome difficulty accessing their journals on friday??? I dont know but for some reason everytime I tried to add an entry, edit or even read someone else's journal it would keep on saying journlas not available...Anyone else have this problem??????
1 comment:
i think you should see a doc about your episode,it happened to me once before it scared me and i went right to hospital turned out i had pneumonia ,i had no signs of even a sniffle or pain just onset all of a sudden hot ,frezzing, sweaty,very high aniexty...i was admitted since i was living alone and doc didnt want me alone ...good luck with the pay raises glad things are going your way and so glad your visit to your brothers was a fun day...god bless you and the family stay well ....Sue
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