Choices and Decisions we live with.....

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I just learned how to do this, so I wanted to share... This is a Day out in Prospect Park with their Daddy while Mommy stood home relaxing..LOL... These pics are not from today these were taken back in the spring. Well today was a pretty good day for me. My kiddies behaved and let me sleep in. My middle son is with his Father. He came to pick him up yesterday. It's about time too. It's been about 2 weeks since he has came and got him. Sometimes I don't want to let him go but I know he has to spend time with his dad too. His father pisses me off though. Instead of spending the entire day with his son, He just spends a few hours with him and then drops him off at his mother's house. He does this because I guess he'd rather spend time with his current girlfriend.
I say current because he is married. He has been married for the last 6 yrs. Meanwhile he lives with this other girl. You think it ends there. Well no he is still messing around with his wife! AND they both know it!!! They both have children with him too!. Basically the story goes like this.... I met him when my oldest son was 6mths old. He was a very nice guy, who adored my son. We started dating.
I thought that this might be the one. Come to find out after about a year of us seeing each other he had a girlfriend who he was with for 3 yrs already! I find this info out one day when I called his house and his mother accidentally called me ANNIE.. UHH Who is Annie? To top it off this phone call was to let him know that I just found out I was pregnant..GO FIGURE

I always get stuck with lowlives. Needless to say that was the end of that. I was not about to get in the middle of a relationship that has been going on for a while. So I tried to figure out what I was going to do.. I wasnt ready for another child. My oldest was just 1 yr and 6 mths!! I had just moved in my own apt alone and I was trying to take care of the bills and my son on my own. I was already a single parent with 1 child.


Did I want to be a single parent with 2 children?? Around this time I was introduced to Ben by my cousin.... You know the story from there. Obviously I am still with him and I love him to death and had I not met him when I did, my middle son would have not been here.(see archives on the story) Anyway I finally got to tell the cheater about my pregnancy.











He had no reaction and I didnt hear from him again till I was 1 week away from giving birth. He tells me he wants to be a part of his son's life. He almost ruined my relationship because thru the whole 9 mths Ben and I had made plans for him to adopt my child. We didnt know that the father would want to have anything to do with the baby. I gave birth by Csection to a 10 pd 5 oz healthy beautiful baby boy! He came to the hospital to see him.










Since I was bedridden with a C-section I left it up to him to take care of the Birth Certificate. BIG MISTAKE... He didnt give my son his LAST name he  gave my son his MOTHER's maiden NAME. I found this out one day when I seen a piece of mail addressed to him at his mother's house after the baby was 6 mths old! WHat a JERK(Up to this day it is still like that while his 2 daughters have his last name.)










Well the girlfriend didnt find out about his son till the baby was 1 yrs old. She came to visit his mother and my son was there. She asked who was the baby? They told her it was her boyfriends child. MUSTVE BEEN A REAL SHELL SHOCKER! Well fortunately to say the girl and I are now great friends. SHE has accepted my child as her own and would do anything for him. She takes him on weekends. She is a beautiful person!










She was just unlucky to fall in love with the wrong person. When my son was about 3 yrs old, She and I found out that he had gotten another girl pregnant(his current girl)Well actually he told me first and asked me not to say anything. It was none of my business so I stood out of it. SHe found out about that baby the day they threw the girl a baby shower. I'm sure she was devasted. All the while the many times she got pregnant he would make her get abortions!









So now the love of her life(she was with him since she was 14) has 2 kids none belonging to her! He ended up having a daughter.Why she is still with him I do not know. Love is blind I guess. He was back and forth between the 2 girls. Finally Annie gets pregnant. My son was 4 yrs old. She has a daughter(whom my son adores!)So now he has 3 kids!Does he pay child support for my son. NOO but when I ask him for money he never refuses. The least could do, since he does nothing else.










I dont really bother with him. The less I see of him the better it is!.. He has been an Ok father. He does give money when I ask even if it is 400.00 in one lump sum. I dont ask for weekly support but you better believe that if my son wants to go to camp or if he wants something that costs a lot of money I call his ass up! My son asks for anything and he gets it. Which is basically not fair to my other 2. His fathers family gives him whatever he asks for. My other 2 see this and they wonder why they dont get the same.I have to expplain to them that it's his father's family who buys it for him not us. Now that they are older they understand more. When it comes to spending time though his father is a slacker. He finally left Annie to go live with his other girlfriend. When he was with Annie he would see my son way more! Annie was always asking him to pick up my baby. But this other woman is not like that. SHe leaves her daughter with her mother all the time, so why would she want to deal with my child. I dont even like when my son is with her because she doesnt take care of him the right way. When my son is with Annie, she makes sure he takes a bath, brushes his teeth and change his clothes. When he is with this other broad he doesnt do any of these things! She would let him sleep with the clothes he had on all day! I dont tell his father who to be with and I also cant tell him that I dont want my son around his new girlfriend because basically that is who his father chooses to be with.  They have a whole love triangle going on. He is still with both of them and all these two girls do is get at each other's throats. They cannot stand each other and if they could I think that they would kill each other. He keeps on promising Annie he is going to come back to her. It's been 3 years now that they have just been sex partners( and she is the wife). Recently my son told me that he heard the current girlfriend tell someone that she is pregnant. OMG!!! Annie is going to flip! He promised he would go live with her in March. I tried talking to her and telling her that she deserves better. But when you are in love nothing any one can say will make you see it. I wish her the best of luck. As for my son I just spoke to his father a little while ago and he just picked him up from his mother's house. It's a miracle.He just asked me if my son needed anything> I said Yeah, get him some socks and some white uniform shirts. He was like"I have to start giving you money. I havent given you anything in a while.UHHH you just fucking noticed that??!!Let's see if it happens though. I dont expect shit from him. God sent me a good man who loves me and my kids. He helps me support my kids. He never hesitates to give them anything. At first it used to bother Ben because he would say that he had to do somebody elses job while the other man gets to relax. But then he realized that this other man was not important. Regardless if( J) is my son's father Ben is my son's Daddy and no one can change that! So we do what we have to do for our kids and if this idiot decides to help out whenever it comesout his ass .... well whatever.  I am not going to be after no man. Its his choice. When my son grows up he will ask his father how come they hardly spent time with each other. I gave him a choice in that hospital room the day my son was born. I told him you can either be there for this child or you can walk out this hospital room and never look back. I told him I already had a good man who was willing to take care my child. He chose to stay. Welll dammit grow up and be a man! Some men will never grow up. One good thing that came out out of all this. My son was blessed with a beautiful grandmother. His father's mother is a wonderful person. She loves that lil boy to death and she would walk to the end of the earth to make sure he is happy. Whatever he asks for she gives. When he was little she bought all his diapers and stuff. She was a grandmother to my oldest child as well and when my daughter was born she treated her like her granddaughter too. Every Xmas she not only gets her grandson but she also gets my other 2 gifts! I could not ask for a better Gma. She makes up for what her son can not do. God Bless her! We beame great friends and I love her like if she were my own mother. When my son was about to turn 1 yr old, she suffered a brain anerysm and almost dies. She was in Rehab for months. She never got to see her grandson's first birthday. She so looked forward to this day. For God's reasons she wasnt able to. My heart broke in two for her! I thought my son would lose the only thing that he had that was worth anything from that side of the family. I cried and prayed for God not to take her away. She survived but was left in a wheelchair and she can not talk. She still loves that boy to death and the day she woke up out of surgery she wrote my son's name and birthday on a piece of paper, to let us know that sheremembered. They say had she not love my son sooo much she probably would not be living right now. She got to see her baby boy grow up. Yea its not the same but I am just happy that he still has his grandmother and that he knows how much she loves him. I can go on and on about the bond they share but I think you guys get the picture. So even though I still got to dealwith this man's BS at least my son has a grandmother who adores him and I guess a father who loves him in his own way. Well thats it for this entry...I'll do another one on my day today....