Never take someone for granted, You wouldnt like how it feels!

                                                 I missed an entry yesterday, But I am back today. Yesterday turned out not to be a good day for me. First of all I felt like shit. My body was aching in places I never knew could ache. My throat was bothering me(I'm not sure if it is a sore throat or the beginning of an infection) I could not find a comfortable spot in bed(I have stood up till 5:00am for the last 2 days)It did not help matters that I sleep with a man who when he is wet weighs about 160 so imagine when he is dry. For someone with such little body mass he sure takes up the whole bed. I usually am woken up by an elbow blow to the face or a knee kick to my back.  I was ons step away from pushing his ass to the floor!
                                                            He's lucky I love him to death though, so he was able to stay. My day started off pretty good. I was able to sleep in due to the fact that my boys are not home. I just have my daugter home, so of course she had no one to argue with or yell at. Good things also have to come with bad things lol, So yes I didnt have to deal with all the bickering in the morning BUT I had to listen to her talk her  head off. I just remember bits and pieces of what she was telling me lol..... Ben woke and made breakfast for all 3 of us...My baby is such a good man.(even though at times he can be a pain in the ass) While I was eating I was thinking about how I what I was going to do. My plans were to do the garbage (since it was takeout day) , then I wanted to sweep and mop both hallways, after that I wanted to go do my laundry. DID I get to do all of this??? NOOO I did not. Reason being that I live with a bunch of inconsiderate, nasty ass, people!   I go outside only to see a bunch of garbage all over the damn place. I swear to you I walked in and out 3 times debating on whether or not I was going to touch anything.. OK I understand that people have to get rid of their garbage, BUT there is a way to be neat about it. Garbage cans are provided , so why would these idiots put the garbage bags beside the garbage cans...ARE THE GARBAGE CANS JUST TO MAKE THE PLACE LOOK PRETTY??? Not only that but the so called princess downstairs in the next building was remodleing her place. SO they felt that they had to throw all the wood beams, carpeting, plaster, and other bullshit right ontop of the recycle garbage cans so that the rest of the idiots had no choice but to throw everything on top! I called the landlady up and I let her know that she WAS NOT paying me to clean up fucking demolition stuff. I told her how was I supposed to be able to pick all that shit up by myself?? Do I look like a man??? Her response was "Well wha was she supposed to keep it in her apt.?? Well I dont know what the hell she was supposed to do but all I know for sure was that I was not touching that fucking carpet. I told her that I would leave it on MISS princessese steps. WHich I did. It took me 2 hours to finish with the garbage. The animals that live here still dont know how to recycle therefore I had to sort everything out myself... Its not going to be too long that I am going to be doing this. For 150 a mth off the rent it is not worth it!!      
 

Needless to say I was too tired to do the hallways. I just swept where I live at and them I came in and cleaned up my apt. I was soo aggravated and tired that I did not even want to get on the computer. I did not do my laundry and I now have 6 big bags of laundry waiting to be washed.It's a damn shame that when my son came to get clothes , all I had was 2 pairs of clean jeans!! 
                            
I feel like I really need a friend right now.... I am feeling so down, its disgusting. You look at other people and you see how carefree they are and you think "What are they doing that they can be happy and I am not? What am I doing wrong?? I dont really like talking to people because most of the time they are not even listening to you. They are there ,but their minds are really not in tune to what you are saying. Not only that but most of them want to judge you or even think that they are better than you. One thing I hate is to be judged, or even more I hate to be around someone who thinks they are better than everyone. SOOOO right now I am feeling lonely. I am disgusted by the behavior of so many people around me that I dont want to be bothered.               First off I am disgusted by my mother in law!! She is just a bitch ..Excuse my language. When I first met Ben I didnt like her because she was a ghetto ass woman. She was into smoking pot and drinking and hanging out until 6am in the morning.When my daughter was born she had the opportunity to stay and witness her birth , instead she chose to go out and party. HER excuse was Ohhh Ben I dont want to take your place..UHHH 2 people are allowed in the room dumbass! Anyway I could cant the number of times that she came to see my daughter between age of newborn to about 4 yrs old on my hands! This was the cause of many arguments between Ben and I. I would not hesitate to tell him that his mother was a bitch(I now know this was wrong). About 2 yrs ago I helped this lady get an apt in the building right next door to me. She needed a place because she was being thrown out of the room she was renting. I should have known better. I thought that with her living right next door to me our relationship would improve. At first it did. We started talking to each other. Neither her man or her had a job and I would buy them food on numerous occasions. Whenever I went food shopping I would bring her along so she could get what she needed. She would come see the kids everday. They loved it. Finally they got to know their daddy's mom.I gave her money for cigarettes and I assume weed even though she didnt say it was for that. It's funny how someone says they dont have money but they find a way to get high. Well coming into the present, my mother in law finally found herself a job. Now that she has a job I guess she thinks her shit doesnt stink and that she is better than us. She doesnt pay her rent. She promised my kids that when she got a job she would do more for them. Since she has gotten a job all she gave them was 50.00 for all three of them for Xmas. WOW WHOOPIE DOO! I have not heard from this lady for going on 2 mths. She has not seen my kids going on 2 mths..no phone calls nothing. You would think she lived in another part of the world. It doesnt take too much to just open your door and come to my house, after all the damm 2 houses are attached! Its funny how when they didnt have money , and Ben and I were literally supporting them they were all chummy with us. Now they they have jobs they cant be bothered. She doesnt even come see her own son who would die for her. She only thinks about her 2 younger sons. Everything is about them. I guess because they all have something in common. They all smoke with each other. SInce Ben does not smoke they find him too boring. Not even his brothers come to visit. They come for 5 mins , drop their families off here and go downstairs to smoke. Like I said we must be too conservative for them. I am not going to lie , Ben used to smoke weed before I met him. Once we got together that was all thrown out the window. Everyone has to grow and be responsible. I guess some people never will. If their own mother doesnt show them how to grow up why should the younger two grow up??

I have more thngs that are messing with my mind right now, but this entry is getting way too long, So to be continued!
Hope everyone is ok......