Quick to judge but are we quick to forgive??

I know many of you are thinking I abandoned my journal, NEVER LOL... I am still here. It's just that with so many things going on I just don't have time to write the way that I want.

 

Well let me start off by saying that my mother in law and I are still not talking. She called my house the other day but I didn't pick up. Then she came knocking at my door but I didn't open. Ben told me that his mother wants to explain to me why she came out the way she did that day. Well frankly I do not want to hear what she has to say. Her excuse is that she had her period that day.. Well uhh 95% of the female population get their monthly vist from Aunt Flo but most of us do not go crazy on someone who has done absolutely nothing to you!! Ben really wants me to talk to her , He says that he feels bad. I am sorry that he has to be in the middle of all of this but basically I just want nothing to do with them anymore. I just want to stay away, this way people do not have shit to say. She should have never involved my children then maybe it would have been easier to forgive her, but she messed up big time...... I never asked her for money all I wanted was her time and not even for me but for my kiddies. Was that too much to ask.... I guess it was....

Ok this is going to be very intense... The other day I was sitting here on the computer, while Ben was watching T.V.. The 11:00 news came on and I heard him gasp. So I looked at the T.V. and I realized that I was looking at my children's school. I was like "What the hell?"???  All of a sudden my world froze and my heart started beating rapidly..... A janitor from their school was being accused of sexually molesting an 8 yr old girl!!!! WTF?? I flipped!! Allegedly this had been going on for 1 month!!! How the hell can something like this go on so long????  The little girl claimed that the janitor accosted her in the girls bathroom in the basement. Now what I didn't understand was how this little girl seemed to be at the same place at the same time.... My first reaction was instant fear.. OMG ... What if's ran through my mind, Then it turned to anger, How the hell can this go on in a school where there are supposed to responsible adults caring for our children. How could the freaking Board of Education hire a rapist. They said that his background check was clean. He supposedly had been working in the school for 20 years!! I couldn't sleep the entire night... I wanted my kids out of that school ASAP!! Ben was vividly upset!! I've never seen him like this..... I didn't send my kids to school the next day, Which coincendently happened to be Parent/ Teachers Conference.... My ass would be there as soon as possible to see what these people had to say about this.

The next morning my children woke up and I let them see the news. They were dumbfounded! They couldn't believe it! They said that cant be Mr. Francis. He is soo nice. I said "What the hell do you mean?" You talked to him?? They said Yes ! He would talk to us and he was always so nice to all the kids. You guys do not know how I felt... all the emotions going through me. I didn't want to give them the first degree but I had to know if anything happpened to them. I asked a milllion and one questions to which they responded that nothing bad happened, that this man was a fine guy. I explained to them that they were not going to school today until I found out what was going on.

 I went to the school and I met with all 3 of their teachers. By the way the school was surrounded with police and news reporters. A lot of parents were saying how they found it hard to believe because he was always respectful. Then other parents were angry that something like this could happen in a school where the kids were supposed to be safe. Basically the jury had already decided that the man was guilty.His bail was set at 150,000.

All 3 of my children's teachers were adamant that the man did not do it! They said that the little girl had accused someone else prior to this incident. I just said I pray for all of us that it is not true. I told them that if it turned out that this was actually did happen, my children would be immediately transferred!

The next day on the news the story had changed.... They said that they now believed the man was innocent. They said that the little girl and her parent's story kept on having inconsistencies.  They said that they had let him go free without bail... What the hell was going on??? How could an 8 yr old make up a story like this?? Who are we to believe??..... Security and teachers posted up signs all over the school that the charges were dropped and that the children were safe....

Ok so now it is today..... WE find out that the man is no longer considered a suspect, the little girl had in fact been violated but they now believed that it was her Stepfather all along. They say that the Mother told her to say it was someone else so that the Stepfather wouldn't get in trouble.. What a FUCKING MOTHER!! How could she??? SHe should rot in prison!!

They have destroyed the life of an innocent man, who had a wife and daughter of his own. He us a church going man, who his neighbors say had not a bad bone in his body. A man who had to spend 2 days in Rikers Island being harrassed by Police and who knows maybe even by prisoners. His life will never be the same. People will always look at him as the man who was accused of molesting an 8 yr old little girl.

I pray that this little girl gets the help she needs. I pray that they take her away from her mother and put her in a safe place.

My heart is 10 tiimes lighter. My children have now returned school. They have returned to school with scars from believing that a friend of theirs was  a bad man. They now know what the word RAPE is.... I explained to them that they are too never never go to the bathrooms alone. They are never to roam the hallways or stairwells alone! I let them know that if anybody did something to them in anyway that made them feel uncomfortable, they were to immediately tell the closest adult and have them call me and their Dad. I told them no one should touch or kiss them in anyway. I hate that my children have to be put in such a terrible postition where they feel they have to look over their shoulders. I want them to feel safe... I guess we dont live in a world like that anymore. I am just happy that this is all over.

 

I have finally started babysitting.... Let me tell you , it hasn't been easy at all. First of all the child does nothing but cry the entire time. I had a feeling that he would cry but I was not expecting him to cry like this. Usually children tend to cry the first 2 days of staying with you. They will cry the most an hour , but this little boy no lie did not stop the whole time he was with me. Four days have now passed since he started coming and each day it is the same. I try everything. I comfort him, rock him, sing to him, play with him, talk to him, everything you can think of. He doesn't want to hear any of it. All he does is point at the door and scream his head off. Lucky thing I am very patient. It's that I feel so bad for him. It's not good that he is crying like this. His voice will go hoarse from all the screaming. The good thing is though that he will eat. If it weren't for that I would be very worried. His parents say that it is because he has never stood with anyone beside them and his grandmother. I am extremely tired right now LOL..... I do not want any more babies:))) The only bad thing about the whole thing is that they will tell me to expect him at 7 in the morning, So I will wake up at about 6:30 am to get ready. Each and every day they have not brought him until 11:00 Am.. Which means that I have  woken up extra early for nothing... Not only that they are supposed to pick him up at 3:00 pm but so far the father has gotten here by 4:30. I am trying to be patient but by next week if he continues to come late I will have to tell them that I am going to charge extra. By the way they pay me 100.00 a week. Is that good? I told them that amount because I felt bad about charging them more. A lot of people have told me that I am charging too little .What do you guys think??

 

I also have had a falling out with my neighbor upstairs because she feels that she can talk to me anyway she pleases because she is a lot older than I am. She is in her late 40's I believe. She tends to be very demanding. At first I used to let her slide. Finally the shit hit the fan the other day. I finally put her in her place and I dont think she liked it one bit. BUT I will go into details in another entry because Ben wants to watch a movie. I just bought the movie Blood Diamond with Leonardo DiCaprio. It is supposed to be very good. So let me go spend time with my man LOL.....

If you think this was it YOU are wrong.... I have only begun telling you.... I have days worth of entries to catch up on LOL... SOOOO Stay tuned there will be more of my daily happenings...

Goodnight AND Hugs to alll!