I am a slacker, But I have an excuse I'm sick!!

                        

Hello my friends ..I know I have been promising an entry and each time I hav broken my promise. I apologize for breaking it, this is not the way that I am but I havent been feeling well for awhile.

I have this damm headache that wont seem to go away. It bothers me a lot. I think maybe I need glasses or something. I have to go get a full physical.

This weekend was pretty relaxing. My friend invited me and my children to spend the weekend over at her house.. She came and picked us up on Saturday. It was soo relaxng! Se lives in Long Island ..It is soo quiet over there. She has a big house with a big backyard. You know what that means right ?? Enough space for the kids to be out of my hair LOL..They had a great time. We took them out for dinner at Chili's restauarant. It was the first time my brats ate all of their food. Usually they just pick but I was amazed that they all ate what they ordered. It wasn't even that expensive. For 7 people the bill only came out to 70.00$. I wanted to beat my friends behind because when it came time to pay she wouldnt let me pay at all!! She said consider it a late xmas present. I felt so bad because I know that things are tight since they just bought the house about a yr ago. No matter what I said though she wouldnt take my money. I told her fine, next time dinner is on me.!

After that we went home and started to watch Happy Feet. That movie is soo cute. We also seen the movie The Pursuit of Happiness, with Will Smith and is real son. It was very good. I was just disapointed because I wanted to see more of the ending like what he did when he finally got the job he always wanted.

I am so aggravated and frustrated right now... LOL do the two words mean the same thing?? Anyway today I had to make a trip downtown to go to the Keyspan main office. Keyspan is the company that supplies us with gas. Anyway the other day I recieve a notice saying that the City Marshall is going to come on Tuesday April 3rd to reposses the meter. I am like WTF?? Come t find out that the bill hasnt been paid for going on 2 yrs... Since I moved in here. Why you ask. Well I applied for this program that pays the gas bill for you. I was approved and they were paying it for me at my old apartment. So naturally when I moved here I switched everything to this apartment. I thought everything was fine. UNTIL NOW....Keyspan has not received one payment in all this time. The bill is now 475.00$. I called up Keyspan and explained my situation. They told me that they couldnt do anything for me since it was now in the marshalls hands. They gave me the number to the Marshall. I called ... He asked me how much money I had. I said Well nothing..He said nothing?? Well you need to at least pay 15% by Monday.(It was Friday) I was like..Damm Well I am going to try and do that. He was like Well the Marshall is going to come rain or shine Tuesday if you dont pay.

So here we are on Monday. I went to the office. It was a freaking nightmare. I had the biggest headache, I also had to bring the 3 brats with me. They thought it was playtime .. I had to dicipline them right there. I had to wait on 3 seperate lines to eventually end up paying at the first line I waited on. I had to pay 71.29$. Lucky thing I had some money saved in the bank. Now I am back to being broke. Benji's Income Tax check still has not come yet. We are at the ending of March. I now owe March's rent plus now April's. All because we are waiting on this damm check. I am about to lose my mind if it doesnt come soon. The good thing is that my landlady is in Israel so she hasnt been hassling me about the rent. She comes back next week and I am sure if I dont have it by then she will put the pressure on.

I have finally spoken with mother in law. Not because I wanted to but because she came by the other day. I opened the door and I called out to Ben that his mom was here. She said "Well I am not here to see Ben , I am here to see you. So she sat there and started talking about her job, and everything else besides the issue between us. I just nodded and put on a fake smile. Finally she must have felt uncomfortable. She got up and said she had some magazines for us in her house. So she went down and got them. She came back up and proceeded to talk to me. I brought up the topic about the garbage and she was like Yea you know I havent been recycling and I said Yea I know. Deep down inside what I really wanted to do was cuss her out. She stood here all of 15 mins and then left ..without even apologizing. I told Ben that is why I didnt even want to see her because I knew that if I wasnt in a bad mood when she came that I wouldnt say anything to her and then she would act like nothing ever happened. Which is exactly what ended up happening. Now she got away with acting like a B&^$#. What a life huh?

I am still dealing with the bullshit that my neighbors are dishing out, but you know what now I am treating them exactly the way they act with me. I think one of my neighbors was upset that I didnt get her daughter a birthday gift. Her daughters birthday was last week. She had told me about it  and in fact the day before the birthday she had come down to my house very early in the morning to tell me that they had the Nintendo DS games on sale at Target. She wanted to know if I wanted to go with her. I told her that I couldnt because I had the kids and I wasnt feeling well. So she was like Ok. I think she wanted me to go with her so that I could pick up a game for the lil girl. Anyway the next day the lil girl rang my bell and I told her Happy Birthday. My intentions were to go and get her something, but with the way things are so tight I couldnt come up with extra money. I felt bad but there was nothing that I could do. Anyway that same night the mother had an attitude with me. I was outside doing the garbage and she came out and did not say one word to me. She looked around then went back in and closed the door. I was like WTF. This got me upset because why was she acting like this?? So of course I was hurt but I didnt say a word. Ever since that day she has been acting like this. So now I am doing the same. Its funnny how some people can just up and change just like that. Its not that I dont want to give her anything its just that right now I can not afford it. She knows how things are with us. Ohhh well I guess you can never know who your real friends are. My problem is that I want to befriend everyone. Who knows if they really wanted to be my friend. Boy I am reading this while I write and it sounds like first grade all over again LOL...

The Kiddies are fine..They have about a week and half off for Easter vacation and Spring Break. OMG I know they are going to drive me nutso. The baby is also going to be here at 7am tomorrow. So that means 4 brats to look after hehehehehe. I dont even know what we are going to do for Easter Sunday. Back where we used to live I used to take the kids to church but over here I havent found a Catholic church yet.  

Another thing that has me stressed out is that my middle son's father has not seen or given him anything in over 2 mths. He keeps on saying that he is going to come and pick him up and drop off money and he never shows. I am so sick of dealing with this crap. I just want to tell him to F^$& off but of course I cant do that because my son wants to be around his Dad. I never ask this man for anything. You would think that now that he has gotten his Income Tax he would come and drop him off something. I dont care if he doesnt give me money in my hands. He can go to the stores and buy him the stuff I dont care, but he does neither. What should I become a B%$& and hassle him every day, or worse should I take him to child support. It seems you're damned if you do and you're damned if you dont. 

My son's stepmother has been calling me like crazy. She wants to come pick my son up. She says her daughter wants to see her brother. Its a damm shame that his wife (who he is not even with right now) is calling for his son and he isnt. So I let her come and get him today. A lot of people do not understand the relationship her and I have. They think its crazy that we get along so well. Being that her man cheated on her and conceived a child with me. Well I didnt know that he was with her and when I did find out about her I respected their relationship and left him alone. Never once after that have he and I messed around. I do not have feelings for him other than the fact that he is my childs dad. She knows that she can trust me and I know that I can trust her with my son. She loves him like if he were her own, very rare! I have even babysitted her daughter while she worked. I think you have to be very mature to have this type of understanding. Anyway what I wanted to say was that its a damm shame that this idiot cant appreciate the wife he has and instead is with another female who also has a child from him. WOW some men have no freaking respect for the female population!!!

Anyway this is it for today. A BIG HUG TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!! Just because I havent written in my journal doesnt mean that I havent been reading yours. I have been commenting every now and then. Hope you guys havent forgotten me LOL.... I will be back again....

 Goodnight all and Take Care.....