I FINALLY got APPROVED!!!!

 Hello my friends! I have been lazy. I admit it LOL. Hey I'm only human.

I went to the Dr yesterday. It was a VERRRRRRRRy long wait. It was Ben's day off yesterday so he was able to go with me. Good because otherwise I dont think I would have gone. The only thing with him going with me is that I get even more anxious because I know he hates to wait. He is very impatient when it comes to things like that. HE hates to shop which I LOVE to do. I dont even go shopping with him anymore because the whole time I am trying to keep him happy so he wont rush me.  PSSHH MEN! You cant live with them but you cant live without them.

Anyways when I finally get to see the doctor he starts asking me questions about my health. Now mind you this is one of those City Drs. Every 6 mths or so I have to go to one of their Drs so that they can continue to give me the Foodstamps and Rent assistance.  I already know this doctor does not give 2 shits about me. They want me to go back to work hence the reason that I am sitting there in front of him. So I start to tell him what is wrong and then I find myself actually breaking down in front of this idiot. I have always tried to compose myself at these visits. But it gets me so upset because I know that these people think that I am just trying to use the system. So I turn around and tell him "Listen I WANT to work! I HAVE worked before. I HAVE been to College. I HAVE goals. I AM NOT lazy. ALL I want is to feel normal again so that I can go on with my life and do the things that I so desperately want to do. I tell him that it tears me up inside that I can not even take my kids to the park or to the museums because I am not myself. Finally I see emotion on this mans face. He is all sympathetic now. He tells me I believe you. So he looks at my EKG and he says "Well it shows here that you have what is called Right Brundle Branch Block and he goes on and on trying to explain what this is. DUH! I know what this is. I have heard it all before. What I want to know is why all of a sudden I have this and why can't it be fixed. What I want to know is could this be the reason why I feel the way I do. NO one ever answers these questions. BUT finally there is light. HE saidthat this can be corrected with either a surgery or through laser . WOW this is the first time a DR has mentioned this. WHY have I never been told about this. SO you know I tell him that this is great maybe after it is corrected I will feel myself. He tells me that this IS not life threatining. OK I may not die tomorrow but that doesnt mean that I dont feel like I am going to die. BUT after all he is ONLY a city DR so of course he is not going to be the doctor to look into it for me. So now how do I go about it if my private DR never even mentioned this treatment before. So now he gave me another appt to see a city Cardiologist and a city Pysch. OHH great! Now lets see what they say. OHH one stupid question this Dr asked was "Is this affecting your life?" WTF do you think?? GEEEZZZZZZ.

I went to Staples yesterday with my mom and a friend of ours. They have folders, erasers, rulers, pencils for 0.05$ and 0.10$. Isnt that great! BUMMER was that there was a limit per customer. SO you know I will be back there before the sale ends. They also have black and white compostition notebooks 2 for 0.78$. Not bad at all.

I ended up getting into an argument with my mom yesterday, OUTSIDE of all places. I hate when I am discplining my kids and she has to contradict me in front of them. When she does this my kids figure "Well grandma is defending me so I dont have to listen to mommy". It started because my "Friends" son asked my oldest if he could borrow a playstation game. My son is just standing there ignoring him. SO after hearing M beg over and over again, I finally ask whats going on. Bottom line was my son didnt want to lend him the game. SO I tell him to lend it to him for an hr or 2 because my other son was down playing with M. My oldest son starts getting a tantrum about how he didnt want to lend it. SO I tell him its not what he says since I am the one who buys these things. You must know that I have been dealing for awhile with my son being very selfish. I am trying to get him out of this because I feel that he is too old for this kind of behavior not only that but being like this is not going to earn him many friends. He is the type of kid that it always has to be about him, everything for him. Its soo bad that earlier in the week he made a comment which was" I dont want Jonathan to come home because then I am going to have to share the playstaion with him".  He was talking about my other son who had been at his fathers house for a week and half already. Now what kind of crap is that not wanting your own brother to come home!

Anyway so then my mother puts her 2 cents into saying Well if he doesnt want to lend it to him , why are you forcing him?? I bought him that game and you are forcing him to lend it out. Your friends dont do shit for you but then you want to be up their ass. She said more stupid crap but I dont want this story drag on. AND YES she said all this in front of my child in front of my house!

So I basically told her that "He is my son and whatever I say goes! I said I didnt care if she bought the damm game but it is my HOUSE! and If I wanted to I would break the dammm game and thats it. I told her that I am NOT going to allow my son to grow up selfish so that when he is 15, 16 yrs old he is going to be a spoiled brat that no one cant stand to be around. I told her that I am sick of her contradicting me in front of them because they take advantage of that and wont listen to me when I tell them somthing because then they say "Well Grandma said we dont have to".

We went back and forth for about 20 mins. I was not going to let her have the last word. I punished my son AND I lent the game to M. I told my son until he learned how to share and stop trying to make me look like a fool he would be grounded. My mother finally shut up because I let her know that I PAY me own rent and bills and I gave BIRTH to these kids! Eventually my son came and apologized to me.  My mom sometimes gets me sooo frustrated! She thinks she can still run my life. For some reason she wants to make me look bad in front of my children. I dont care what she says or does but I am going to raise my kids the way that I want! Anyway thats all about this for today.

Guess what?! I applied for a Capital One credit and I............ GOT APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! I jumped up and down and screamed WOOO HOOO when I seen that they had approved me. I have been applying for credit cards for yrs now. ALL of them kept on denying me because of insufficient credit history. I would get soo pissed. How the hell was I supposed to estabish credit if no one wanted to give me credit! But yesterday I guess luck was on my side and they said YESS!! I can not wait. NOO I am not going to go crazy and get myself into debt but everyone needs at least one for emergency purposes.

Well I have rambled on and on and on ...... today LOL.. I will end this entry for now ;)... Hope you all had a great day. I am about to go start cooking. I am making breaded chicken breast with some rice and veggies. MMMMMMMMM

Take care until next time