Just another Sunday

Before I start off my entry tonight I would like to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on my pictures and my entry before that... I just want to say that I am not going to let anyone try to change me from the way that I am with my family.. Ohhh yea I got a comment saying that maybe  should allow her to talk about herself, LOL thats all she does is talk and talk and talk. I am 90 percent of the time The lstener, but that is ok with me because I like to listen as opposed to talking anyway. I appreciate everyones comments!!! They all made me feel better.

Well today was a lazy Sunday for us.. I got up, came on the computer for a lil while and then I showered. I went outside to the porch. My FRIEND was outside. SO we sat and I listened while she talked about her night at the baby shower. Then I listened to her talking about how many times she and her SO 'Did it" .... a little too much information there.. I kept her son overnight yesterday so that she could go to the babyshower and then have privacy with her man. Her man has been staying over by her house since Thursday while his girlfriend is on vacation. The honeymoon will end tomorrow being that the girlfriend is coming home. I tend to not judge any one's situation but for the life of me I can not comprehend WHY a woman would want to be a man's "woman on the side". She tells me that he tells her he is going to leave his girlfriend soon.... Umm if you haven't left her yet then odds are you arent leaving anytime soon. I wish my friend would see that. She just says that they are soul mates and she is willing to wait for him. "SIGH"..OHH WELL...

Today I have feeling lightheaded which in turn makes me nervous. I took the kids to the park and I felt like I was going to catch a panic attack. Then I got frustrated because its a shame that I can not spend the day at the park without feeling like this. Then frustration leads to me panicking again because I soo want to feel normal. Eventually we came back home and I let them ride their scooters out in the front of the house. I WANT to do so many things with them and I CANT.. UGHHH I can NOT stand this!

I didnt feel like cookingso when Ben came home we took a walk to MCDonalds. Even on the walk there I felt like crap. I tried to just keep on talking like everything was normal. I dont want him to see me lose control. I feel he deserves someone who doesnt have this issue. I got me a crispy chicken caesers's salad. I have been dying for one of those. I also got me a fruit and walnut salad for dessert. They were both good. My doctor says I need to lose about 35 pds to be at the weight that is healthy for my height. Let's see if I can eat the right foods.

I was thinking today that if something should happen to me and I am no longer here, Would I want Ben to remarry or be with another woman. At first I thought of course not. Then I started to think that Yes I would want for him to find a woman who is good for him and who could help him raise our children. I just pray that he will be able to find a woman who would love him unconditionally and appreciate him the way he deserves, also a woman who would love our children unconditionally and who would have no problem loving and caring for them the way they need.

Well my sis in law still hasnt called me. For someone who said she wasnt upset with me. Ohh well I am not going to stress over it. Like I told her whenever she feels like talking to give me a call. I have not called her because I feel like everything was fine and dandy before I told her I couldnt babysit. We were calling each other like 2 or 3 times a day. SO obviously she has an issue that is bothering her and she should be honest about it. Why should I call her and try to force the way she feels out of her. I miss talking to her but oohh well .... There comes a day when you have to grow up and stop playing these middle school games.

I was reading one of the those celebrity gossip columns. They had a picture of Tom Cruise and Katie's daughter Suri and then they had a picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina's daughter Shiloh.. They ask the question "Which baby is cuter? over and over again... I must say that I LOVVEEE Brad Pitt he is gorgeous BUT I think that Tom Cruise's daughter Suri is sooooo pretty. I think she is prettier than Lil Shiloh. What do you guys think????

OHH I was meaning to ask "How many of you have a myspace page??" If any of you do leave me your links. I will add my link to another entry tomorrow because I forgot it LOL..Or you can search for me thru this email Myoneandonly2626@aol.com.

Well I guess I am going to end this entry now..even though there is nothing else for me to do. Ben is asleep already and my kiddies are in bed watching television. But alas I have run out things to write about LOL... I guess I'll just search for new journals to read. My list is getting longer and longer lol.. I am just addicted. Ben looks at me reading sometimes and he says What do you get from reading about other people's lives?  I dont have the answer to what I get out of it, all I know is that I enjoy it and it makes me less lonely to know that there are other people put there who can relate to me. I like to read about other peoples drama and joys of life. Thats just me LOL... So What do you guys get out of it??? Let me know :)

GOODNIGHT ALL AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.