Why do we seem to care about what others think about us?

This is a first .... I am finally writing an entry before 12:00 am LOL... Well it's because I have nothing to do at the moment. Wait! Let me correct that I do have stuff to do like LAUNDRY but I do not FEEL like going to the LaundryMat right now. I sooo miss my washing machine... I did not fall asleep until 4:00am. I was online reading journals. I have found some new and interesting journals to read. I wake up this afternoon , (Yea I slept until about 12pm) to a phone call from my landlady letting me know that instead of coming out here today she has decided to come on Saturday. WHOOPIE DOO. Let me tell you. My landlady has found a new pet to harass. I am no longer the one she calls 4 or 5 times a day. My new neighbor whom I mentioned in a previous entry has been bestowed the honor of filling the position.  I swear some people are downright grimy! I found out through the grapevine that my dear old landlady is paying this person 10 times more than what she payed me to rent out her apts. WHY?? BEcause this person would not settle for anything less. Meanwhile when I asked for a lil extra money she bitched and whined about how I was wrong for asking after everything she has done for us... Yea ok... My landlady has the nerve to tell me "So and SO is a go getter ..with a mind on her shoulders... You should want to be her friend. WTF! What is she implying with that , that I am a lazy stupid person with no goals in sight? Well let me say this... I am blessed with the fact that I have a man who is willing to bust his ass working SO that I can stay home and raise my children. I have been to College! I have worked before.. BUT I choose now to stay at home and make sure that my children have somebody to help them with their homework and see to it that they are raised the right way. My neighbor on the other hand does not even have her son all yr besides the summer. The child lives with his dad all the way in Michigan. SO she has time to cater to the landlays every beck and call.

Anyways... LOL can you tell that this topic annoys the hell out of me??

You know what else annoys the hell out of me ??? When people get upset at you and dont have the nerve to be upfront and let you know how they feel.

Let me start from the beginning. I don't know if you guys remember my sis in law who at one time had started a journal too. Well eventually she had to stop because her husband got into and read everything and flipped out on her for spreading his business around.... ANYWAYS... He has a daughter from a previous relationship. Well the daughter is 8 yrs old now and her mother decided to send her to their house for summer vacation.(they live in Florida) BTW this lil girl is also Ben's and I goddaughter. Now mind you, before the lil girl came my sis in law was all excited, talking about how she couldnt wait till she got here. I warned her that the lil girl could be a handful a times. I know from experience. Ok So the child is out here..... Not 2 weeks after the child is here, did shit start to hit the fan. I received many phone calls about how the child is very disrespectful and blah blah blah. I hate to say I told you so. Now the only time everything was all good was when the child made it easier for my sis in law to go out. Being that she has to very small children who are exactly 1 yr apart makes it very difficult for her to go out anywhere without her husband. That changed when the lil girl got here. Now the part where I come in, is when one day the lil girl really wanted to spend some time at my house. Well my sis in law comes out and say "Well you know she cant stay because she has to help me get home, and besides she cant stay anywhere without asking he father permission. Now first of all I was telling the lil girl all along that she couldnt stay because she needed to help with the babies on the way back home BUT since when do I need to call the father for permission? He does not mind at all that I stay with her in fact it would make he even happier if she were with me. After all I am her Godmother.. Anyway that pissed me off because I knew it had nothing to do with the father it was just that she knew without her she would be stuck at home again. Fast foward to a couple of weeks later... I get a phone call from him asking if I could stay with the lil girl so that my sis in law could get a break..... At first I didnt want to do it but I said what the hell. SO I stood with her... I guess he didnt tell my sis in law that she was going to stay because all I know is that she was upset and she didnt pack any clothes for her or anything.. The entire time she was with me (I think 4 days ) she wanted toknow when she was going back home. Finally I sent the lil girl back home and I said that from now on let them deal with her..... What gets me mad is that a couple of times after this happened my sis in law would call me to ask me if I could stay with her because she was being really bad and disrespectful and she couldnt take it anymore. How come when I wanted to stay with her it was a problem but when she is driving you crazy then you want to call me. So I would say no.... Of course to them I was messed up for saying no....

Now it's nothing but complaints about the lil girl and my sis in law is dying for her to go home. It even got so bad between them that the lil girl actually hit my sis in law and they got into a lil fight. I told my sis in law that it was time for them to send her home. Because supposedly her husband did not do anything about the situation but fight with her. All she kept on saying was that We cant afford the ticket for her to go back. UMMM they do have a bunch of credit cards and if you can go out and spend money on other stuff then you can make a sacrifice and pay this ticket and send this lil girl home, since all she is doing is making you miserable.. If it were me I would have been did it the very first time this lil girl disrespected me and my husband didnt put her in her place...BUT NO she would rather spend it on something else....So now she is stuck with the little girl until the ending of July....

Last week I get a phone call from her early in the morning asking me if I could take the lil girl for a couple of hr. She said it was because it was her 2 yr anniversary and her husband was going to take her to the Olive Garden. She said that her mom was willing to stay with the 7 mth old and she was going to take her 1 yr old with them but she didnt want to take the 8 yr old because she didnt want the 8 yr old to ruin her day. Well a part of me wanted to do it because it was after all their anniversary, but then another part of me did not want to do it because why do I always have to get stuck with her when its for thier convenience. I have 3 kids and when Ben and I go out we take ALL 3 of them even if its to the Olive Garden or whereever. NO ONE ever offers to babysit for us and WE NEVER ask anyone ..WE just take our children because they are our repaonsibility. Not only that I had already made plans withmy mom and its bad enough she at times doesnt want to go out with my kids , imagine this lil girl... SO I told her that I was sorry that I couldnt do it. I told her that she should still go and take the lil girl and that maybe with her father there she wouldnt act up as much.... Well .... ever since that day she has not called me anything. I have written her messages asking her if she was upset and she says no. Well if you arent upset then why havent I heard from you in going on 2 weeks? So now I am at the point where you know what I dont care anymore. If she wants to be upset then let her.... I didnt do anything wrong in my eyes.. DID I??

Just yesterday my husband texts me(this is his bio niece we are talking about) and he wants to know if the lil girl can stay with us Thurs and Friday. His brother called and asked him. I was pissed... Why cant they call me and ask me.... I am the one who is going to be taking care of her.. I know its because the lil girl must be driving my sis in law crazy and she needs a break. Well I need a break too and no on cares about that. So once again I said No... Yea I must be a big B&^%# now.. Ohh well I dont care what people think about me anymore....Wait thats a lie I do care but I am not going to be taken advantage of just because I want you to like me....I am so done with it all...

There is way more to this story but because I dont want to go on and on in one entry I have left out many things...

I just get upset because why is it that I can watch everyone elses kids but no one offers to watch mine?? So there you have it.. Someone else on the list of people who dont like me right now..OHH WELL what are you gonna do right??

Well this is it for now .. I am most likely going to do 2 entries today since this story took up way too much time.

Take care all and enjoy the rest of your day! :)