School shopping, and an Emotional Breakdown

To all of my friends who come to check up on me every now and again... Right about now my mood is not too great. I have a headache and I am very annoyed. Before I get into why I am in this mood, let me just say that I have finally taken care of 90 percent of my kids school things.

My mind is finally at ease. Today Ben and I went Downtown and bought most of what was needed. Since all 3 of my children wear uniforms it was quite easy because we went to the store knowing ahead of time what we were going to get. It turned out way better than I expected. We did not spend as much as I thought we were. My initial budget was to spend 200.00 on each child, WELL Lo and behold we actually spent 207.00 on ALLL 3 children.!!!! (Well just on Clothes) I got my daughter, a uniform dress, skirt, pant,  skort, 4 packs of stockings, and 2 button down blouses. She can not complain this yr about only having the option of wearing the dress like last yr. This yr I made SURE I got all 4 LOL... Her colors are Pink Blouse, and Burguny and Grey Plaid bottom.  For the boys I got 2 pairs each of Dickies Trousers as these always look good with any footwear that I choose to get them. My littlest son wears Grey pants and then the oldest now needs to wear Navy Blue. They each got 2 White button down shirts. And theirs ties.... One Navy Blue and White Plaid and the other Burgundy and Grey Plaid...  That was it for clothing... Next week I will buy the boys 2 more pants each and about 3 more white shirts since BOYS love to ruin these white shirts.

Next it was on to Payless where they were having THE BOGO sale.. Buy one get one half off.. I got my daughter a pair of Brats Hi top Converse Style sneakers and a pair of Black Casual Dress shoes.. There I spent 30.00. The boys I DO NOT buy at Payless because with boys (in my opinion you have to spend a lil more for them to look good) SO I am going to go to Footlocker with a coupon that I have for 40% off. I will either get them a pair of sneakers or boots, its up to them.

OMG You wont believe that Ben and I then searched hi and low in just about every Dept Store looking for a dammmm High SchoolMusical Backpack!!!!!!!! They were sold out everywhere!!! I felt so bad because about 2 weeks ago my daugter and I were shopping and we seen it and she asked me to get it for her and I told her that we still had enough time to get it.... AND NOW they are nowhere to be found.. UGHHH I should have just gotten it then.. Anyway we finally ended up in Burlington Coat Factory where I finally just settled for a pretty Bratz Backpack and I picked up the boys each a backpack. There I spent 69.00. I can hardly believe I spent that much for bookbags but these kids are gettting older now(and besides Katie getting a character one) So I had to splurge a lil more for the boys. Man the older they get the more expensive they are.

Finally we were done for today. I still need to get the boys footwear , a Looseleaf Binder, Looseleaf paper, Crayons, and Pens. OHH and their Uniform Cardigans for the Fall and Winter.... But at least I got the majority out of the way.

We get home and I am excited to show them their stuff. I also wanted them to try it on to see if I needed to do any returns. Thank Goodness it all fits, though I need to take my daughters stuff to the tailor to get it fitted. I swear the girl is soo skinny but tall. Which means the length fits perfectly but then the waist is sooo big! One of my pet peeves LOL...

ANyway here is where my headaches comes on. As you all know my sister is staying with me while my mom is in Florida. So far I have had no problems with her. She has been obeying the rules and such. That is till today. I had mentioned to her when she first came that it was ok with me that her bestfriend stay over one night. Well a couple of days ago the friend decided that she wanted to come over about 9:30pm... I told her no because to me it was too late for a 16 yr old to be coming out alone , and I didnt appreciate someone coming at that time. Whatever it was fine... Well today I came across an Instant Message between the friend and my sister... The friend wanted to know if she could come over today.... So my sister writes back UMM I dont know if Stephanie would want you to come today.. SO the friend gets an attitude and writes back "Well you know what then I am never going over there because when its ok for me she says no and when its ok for her its not ok withme." SO I asked my sister whats wrong with her?? Since I wasnt even ASKED today if she can come over. Obviosly my sister must have not wanted her company because she just came up with that reason herself.. Then the friend writes Well you can also tell her that she could have said Thank you for the food(Yesterday my sister brought us some food from a BBQ that the friend had at her house).. Ok so when I read that comment I started to get upset because I was like first of all I havent even talked to her yet so How could I have said Thank U?? AND Second of all this damm girl wants to have an attitude with me when I dont even know whats going on!! SO I ask my sister again What is wrong with her friend... My sister starts yelling and carrying on about how nosy I am and how I never want her friend to come over here.. I'm looking at her like WTF??? UMMM I am nosy... Remember its my computer you are on and if you dont like it you can get off! SO I start yelling back and we are now arguing and I am getting really upset because I am trying to tell my sister that I am not upset with her but with her friend... My sister does not want to hear that... She gets up and says I am leaving and she starts packing her stuff... SO after awhile I say you know what Do whatever the hell you want I am not going to stress myself out... So next thing you know my mother calls and asks me for her.. SO I tell her Welll she is over there packing, She asks me why and where is she going .. I tell her I dont know and I dont care, So she asks to put her on the phone.... I can hear my sister telling her shit but I am not saying anything.... Then I take the phone and CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT MY MOTHER HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME THAT I NEED TO GROW UPPPPP!!! She says that its not right that I dont want the friend to come since I said it was ok.... She starts telling me how I always have my friends kids over here and I never tell them anything.... I hear myself trying to explain to her that I did not tell this freaking girl No today but she doesnt want to hear it she just wants to keep tellling me about my friends... SO I am soooo frustrated right now because WTF this is my house I pay the rent and even if I didnt want the friend to come SO WHAT??? So I start to choke up and start crying because no matter what I do I am always wrong in this lady's eyes,... So I just tell you know what whatever!! and I hang up... My sister gets dressed and leaves with her boyfriend leaving all her stuff here so I assume she's coming back!

My mother calls about an hr later talking like nothing has happened( something happened with my other sister) But I dont want to hear it.. She then tells me that my sister is coming back to my house, that she just went to take a walk to calm down... I'm like I dont care if what she does and where she stays.. and I hang up. Of course I feel bad but I dont want to hear it!

Ben and I start to watch the Davinci Code.( very confusing but good movie)... Sister walks in at 12:00am asking me if I want some Chinese rice and I pay no mind to her. AS I am sitting here writing this she just passed by and kissed me on the cheek. Now everyone wants to let bygones be bygones huh???? Its always like this. I dont want to hear none of it, when I am good and ready I will talk to you because I did not deserve to be treated like that.

Did I mention that Ben is going to be a GODFATHER?? You guys all remember my sis in law who used to have a journal for a lil while... ( If you dont know go back a few entries and read about her, We are still not talking to each other) I actually contacted her through Myspace messaging and she wrote back.. But other than that we have not spoken.. I will make on entry on that issue seperately. Anyway she has a daughter which is about 9 mths. Ben recently told me ( 1 week ago) that his brother asked him if he wanted to baptize the baby. Ben said that he wasnt sure because he didnt know how I would feel since they didnt ask me to be the Godmother.... Well when he told me about it my first reaction of course was to feel insulted, Like how come I wasnt asked to do it with him??? SO Ben said "You know what I dont want to do it if it is going to bother you because you are my wife and I dont want to hurt you.... I told him Look that is your niece and I am NOT going to tell you to say NO... I feel bad but ultimately it is up to you... I wont be mad at you at all... SO he said he would think about it... and I never heard about it again.

So today while we were out his brother calls to let him know that the baptism was going to be on Sept 9th.... SO Ben tells me that he is going ... ANd I was Like of course you are going since you are the Godfather , He says NO Im not and Im like What??? He said that he decided to turn down his brothers offer because he didnt feel comfortable doing it without me... I tell him that I didnt care if he did it... I dont want him to say no just because of me ,,,, Not only that I know that she will start to talk about the fact that Ben said No and what kind of family is he.. So I tell him if he really wants to do it to go ahead, UNDER one condition though, the Godmother CAN NOT be her sister.... ANd he knows why ( another entry) SO we find out it is not her sister so I guess he is the Godfather after all....

I am not going to lie and say that it doesnt bother me because it does.... I feel like Why didnt they ask me too if they wanted him knowing that we are a couple?? Also in my opinion it is easier to pick a couple than 2 seperate people who do not even know each other......Ben doesnt even know the chick who is going to do it with him, and now he has to get in contact with her to make arrangements for an after Ceremony and I guess to discuss the financial side of this... Which is another thing they tell him like 2 weeks ahead of the official date and now we have no money saved for this.. He just has to take it out of somewhere....But he can not say no to his brother because I wouldnt say no to mine...

Ben and I are already Godparent's to his brothers first daughter and they know that we take care of her whenever she needs something, or when she is down here... We did it more before she went to Florida but still up to this day if the mom calls and tells me she needs something I make sure that she gets it... SO its not that they dont know that I would make a good responsible Godparent ... so what is it???

Wow this is a looong entry... right now my mind is in so many places that I can keep on writing and writing......

I still have soooo many things to do... Its like I can not get all that I need done DONE... I still have to get those papers filled out for this damm caseworker, I have to get my kids all physicals, plus my oldest needs to get a shot before he goes into Middle School... I need to do laundry BUT I still havent put away last monts laundry because I HAVE to clean out their drawers first. The list goes on but these are the most importantthings.

I also feel like I am getting myself into something that I am not going to be able to completely control, I am not ready to write this in here yet but I will eventually....

WeLL I am finally going to end this... Thank you girlies for always commenting and making me feel better...

P.S. I also found out yesterday that my son's father is having another baby .... BUT this I have to go into another entry because its a DOOZIE!

Goodnight alll and Take Care of Yourselves... LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL!!!