Warning: Beofre you read futher please know that this a long full blown rant!
Read at your own discretion.
I just feel like running away right about now.
Today started out bad, I thought it would get better but no it has just gotten worse.
Let me start from the beginning. Yesterday my middle son comes out of school all upset because his teacher told him that he was not going on the upcoming class trip due to no homework. I was pissed because there was no way he could be missing yesterday's Hw because I was the one who helped him with it. He did leave 2 questions blank because frankly we couldn't find the answers. Now 2 questions blank is definitely not an incomplete by no means.
So I decided to go to school this morning to talk to her and ask what seems to be her problem with my child. I start out by telling her how it is that he got marked an incomplete for last night's Hw when all he had missing was 2 questions. She tells me that to her if they leave something blank that it is an automatic incomplete. I tell her that I do not agree with that at all! Well she stood by her answer that it was how she ran her class. Then she proceeds to tell me that my son has consistently missed Hw. I tell her "Impossible, I watch him do his Hw every night.
She says " Well I have proof" She calls another student to bring her, Her notebook and she proceeds to show me dates on which my son did not hand in Hw or was missing some of the Hw.
I felt like a fool! I was livid. I asked him what was going on?
He starts to cry. I know instantly that there is something he is not telling me. I ask him if it was true that he was missing Hw all these times. He nods his head yes. Omg... It took all I had for me not to slap him. Apparently my child was just showing me and doing only half of his work! So let's say he had..English, Math, Science and Social Studies, he would only show me his Social Studies, Math and English. He would not tell me he had Science and I never thought anything about it because he was after all doing his homework and I had no reason to believe otherwise. So I was played like a fool. Fine I told him when he got home he had a lot of explaining to do and that as of now he was punished for 2 weeks. He is not allowed to watch tv, play with toys or games and he can not go to his father's house this weekend.
Ohhh before this little adventure in school, Ben and I got into a little tiff.
Now usually on Thursdays he would have to leave the house at 7:00am to so that would mean that I would take the kids to school. Well today there was a change and he didn't have to leave until 10:30. So I tell him to come with me to school so that we could talk to the teacher together because it's usually me alone, this way the teacher could see that my child comes from a home with two parents.
Well Ben is a selfish idiot! He decided that it was much more important to go and get a haircut. He said that was the reason why he changed the schedule. I told him that he would be able to do both as I wasn't planning to stay in the school for hours. He said he wasn't going to take the chance. He really needed a haircut (in his words).
I am frustrated! I am tired of being a single parent. Yes he lives with me, Yes he provides for us financially. This doesn't mean that this excuses him from playing an active role in parenting. When they have to go to the Dr, I take them. When they need clothes or something for school, I have to go and get it. When they have Parent/Teacher day I go. When they need help with Hw, I help them. I dress them, I send them to bathe, I make sure they eat, I discipline then if needed,, I tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. I buy them their favorite things. Ahh you get the drift here?? Basically it's me doing everything for them because he's too busy at work. By the time he comes home from work they are in bed and I have taken care of everything. Is this fair?
No, its not. Not only isn't it fair to me its also not fair to them.
So I called him out on it and he didn't like it. I am now not speaking to him. If he is not willing to see that there is something wrong then there is no reason to waste my breath anymore.
He says I have to understand him. I am sick and tired of being understanding. When the hell is someone going to understand me?
Next thing to annoy the heck out of me,,, Those of you who have been reading me long should know that I have a psychotic landlady. Recently we got into it again because she is a damm stalker who has nothing else to do all day but harass me. She leaves me about 20 messages a day to call her just because she wants to speak to me. Why the hell do I have to call if I dont want to?
So finally I told her in a very sarcastic without any cuss words(and there were many that I wanted to use) way to leave me alone.
She was of course shocked and couldn't understand why I was talking to her like this. Yea my ass. I have stories that I can sit here and write about this woman and the way she has treated me, But I wont get into that now.
Anyway she calls me today to tell me that the exterminator will be coming by on Saturday, I then tell her that I will not be letting him in because I have my little puppy now and I do not want her to get poisoned. She then decides to bust my balls(not that I have them) and tells me that she didn't want dogs in the building. What!!!!!??
Meanwhile my sort of friend Ayeesha who lives in the freaking small ass basement has a pitbull! You are trying to tell me that you do not want my 3 pd Shih Tzu in my Apartment but's ok for someone else to have a 25-30 pd pitbull in her basement apt!
Again my pressure rose for the third time today.
I kindly told her that I am not getting rid of my puppy,
Now what's bothering me the most is that I really really want to get out of here!
I need to move ASAP before I really let her have it.
I can not deal with her anymore. We always pay our rent. I have bent over backwards for this woman and she literally has kicked me in the ass numerous of times, Sigh
To add icing to the cake, when I want to pick up the kids this afternoon I forgot my keys and I locked myself out!( I have one of those locks that automatically locks once you pull the door shut),
Great now what?? So I call my mother because she has a spare key of mine, for situations like this( I am forever doing this).
I ask her if she can bring over the keys. I can not go because I still have to wait for my oldest son to come home. I have no money on me as I didn't bring my purse, She says she has things to do and she is not coming to bring the keys. I am again upset and I hang up on her,
Now I know that I am wrong for being mad at her, Its not her fault that I am an idiot who forgot my keys. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't have been mad except that every freaking time I ask her for something either she gives me a hard time and puts me down or she says no. Today was a day that she said no.
Ok what to do? Only option is to wait till my son gets home, take a cab to her house(hope she pays for it without cursing me out too much) get the keys and then take the cab back home(then I'll owe her 20.00 but she'll act like I owe her a million) or I can see if I see my neighbor(who lives in the basement) and hope she would be kind enough to let me go thru a door that leads to the side of the building so that I can climb thru my window,
Ok, so option two was better for me, I seen her asked her and she said Yes,
So after clearing out the mess she had in front of this door which includes a big lion statue that is actually a table once you put the glass on top(where do people get these things?? It even has a penis geeeze) I finally get outside and see that my kitchen window is closed not only is the glass part closed but also the screen is down as well. God please open up the ground and let me fall in.
Now I have to not only climb up a really narrow fence, but also balance myself good so that I don't fall and break my neck(that's all I need). After 5 excruciating minutes the screen and window are open, I jump down then pick my middle son up and hold him while he is going thru the window. Finally he is in.
Thank goodness,
I am still very tense and frustrated right now and am on the verge of tears any second,
I dont know what to do anymore, I am tired of having to explain to people whatthey do wrong, They are not babies. If they can not see for themselves then why waste my time, I give up.
I give give give and give, I have no more left to give and frankly I dont want to give anymore, I sacrificed way too much of myself to make others happy. I always put everyone else before me, just so that they can like me, I am done,
If you dont like me then screw you, If you cant deal with my attitude then dont deal with me and stay away,
As for Ben if he continues this way, one day he is going to come home to an empty house, If I am going to be a single parent then I can be that somewhere else,
Sorry for the rant but I need to get this out!
Thanks for reading (if you made it this far)
Hugs,
Steph
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