Still no money & no answers

     

Well we are still dealing with this mess with these people who put a hold on Ben's money. We have not heard from them since Friday. This is straight up ridiculous! Supposedly they wanted to settle this quickly. So quick that Ben has left tons of messages and no returns his calls. The bank says their hands are tied. Well weren't they the idiots who let someone else come and mess with his money? Now no one has answers. Ben asked them what was he supposed to do if this man never calls him back. Of course the bank did not know how to answer that question. All they said was that the hold is in effect until 2009 OR until he has 5,000 in the account. WTF he doesn't even owe them that much. I finally did get some papers in the mail about this "hold". Ben owes 2,700 in total. WOW all this for a 200.00 limit. Just freaking crazy.

Today I felt like I was going to lose it. Ben has direct deposit so we thought his pay check for tomorrow would get deposited. This of course would have been a nightmare since we already lost one paycheck. We would have had NO money at all and tons of bills piled high! I couldn't handle it if that were to happen. But thankfully when he called payroll they told him that his check will be mailed to him. TY Lord!

Friday is my son's birthday. I have no idea what I am going to do for him without any extra money to spare. We'll come up with something. We have to. I can not bear to see disappointment on my child's face.

Saturday my landlord is coming for her rent. Credit card bills are due again. Not including the ones that already bounced.

I just need a little more strength to get thru all of this. I can not afford to have a breakdown now.

 

Not only do I have to deal with drama in my outside life but its unreal that I have to deal with drama online as well. I never could understand how people get into arguments or drama with people over the internet. Now that it has happened to me personally I can see how.

Some just thrive on attention.. I dont know why I let this woman who seems to have tons of issues get to me. Ohh well as she stated God sees and hears everything. SO that person better watch out judgement doesn't come knocking at her own door.

 

Today my lil sis graduated from High School! She achieved something that neither I, my other sis or brother did. I am so very proud of her. I know it took a lot of work and not everyone makes it but she did. I remember when she was born. How much I adored that little girl. Now she is no longer a baby. Just thinking about her finally becoming a young woman and venturing out on her own brings tears to my eyes. I just wish I had the money to do something really special for her. All I can do is let her know that I am here for her whenever she needs me.

Well that's about all for tonight. Ben should be here any minute and I need to heat up his dinner.

Hugs

Steph

 

 

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Conversation pt2

 

MommylilDevils [4:15 P.M.]:  they dont fix computers there
MommylilDevils [4:16 P.M.]:  and even if he sends to fix we still gotta pay that aint free like your camera wasnt free, it comes out of his pocket when it comes time for his bonus
MommylilDevils [4:16 P.M.]:  they charge him for it since he didnt charge the person
shorladysxy90 [4:17 P.M.]:  so what the hell u want to do give him the damn money since u throwing shit on my face
MommylilDevils [4:17 P.M.]:  i am telling you what the prob is
MommylilDevils [4:18 P.M.]:  i am telling you that its messed up that now i have to pay for it or be without a laptop i am not blaming you
MommylilDevils [4:18 P.M.]:  what im saying is that had it been me you and her would have been hounding me and calling me for the money to fix it
MommylilDevils [4:18 P.M.]:  she wont step up to the plate and admit that she did something to mess it up without arguing
shorladysxy90 [4:19 P.M.]:  so if thats the way u feel about it than tell her
shorladysxy90 [4:20 P.M.]:  i don't know what else u want me to do. but i kinow the night before it was working
MommylilDevils [4:20 P.M.]:   dont even try to stick up for her
MommylilDevils [4:20 P.M.]:  she messed it up and thats it
MommylilDevils [4:21 P.M.]:  all i did was turn the thing on I didnt need the internet because I was chatting with my friend but when I was done I couldnt get on the internet it sure wasnt me
MommylilDevils [4:21 P.M.]:  anyway forget it because this is going to be a lost  cause
shorladysxy90 [4:21 P.M.]:  u just can't be down loading music like that that s why i don't let her do it on mines
shorladysxy90 [4:23 P.M.]:  i'm gonnna let her know that u upset about it
MommylilDevils [4:23 P.M.]:  dont let her nothing because i am not in the mood to hear her calling me cursing at me
MommylilDevils [4:24 P.M.]:  She should have come to me and said Steph something is wrong with it i dont know what I did but take it to get serveced and if there is something wrong with it I will pay for ir
MommylilDevils [4:24 P.M.]:  but instead she says she didnt do anything to it when she was the only one using it
shorladysxy90 [4:25 P.M.]:  i don't know to to tell u
shorladysxy90 [4:26 P.M.]:  just don't take it out on me cause i didn't do nothing to that laptop
shorladysxy90 signed off at 4:31 P.M.

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IM Converstation with my mother....Pt 1

*Had to edit the color from my moms side she used black which blended into my background

 MommylilDevils [3:58 P.M.]:  well i am pissed off too because now my laptop is messed up. it was working fine here now it dont  and it doesnt matter because no one gonna step up to the plate and say they did anything to it
MommylilDevils [3:59 P.M.]:  which is messed up because if it was me I would have gotten cursed out but now i have to figure out how to fix my own laptop that i didnt even mess up
shorladysxy90 [3:59 P.M.]:  well that don't got nothing to do with me
shorladysxy90 [4:00 P.M.]:  that's up to u and lulu
MommylilDevils [4:00 P.M.]:  of course everybody will say that .... ohh i didnt do it but nobody gonna have my back either but its all cool
shorladysxy90 [4:00 P.M.]:  i know u not blaming that on me now
MommylilDevils [4:01 P.M.]:  no what im saying is that nobody gonna care about it and nobody gonna say nothing because it has nothing to do with them
MommylilDevils [4:02 P.M.]:  i wouldve been told that i had to pay for it and shit she would have had you calling here telling me off
shorladysxy90 [4:02 P.M.]:  cause when i had it i gave back the same way u gave it to to even with a bag for it
shorladysxy90 [4:03 P.M.]:  well like i said is up to u and lulu u want to tell her to pay for it
MommylilDevils [4:04 P.M.]:  yea like if i tell her that she messed up it up she has to pay for it she aint gonna pay for shit and she gonna say that she didnt mess it up and start cursing all over the place like she always does
shorladysxy90 [4:04 P.M.]:  is that why ben aint talking to u
MommylilDevils [4:04 P.M.]:  i aint scared of her but i just dont have the energy for drama i am just not gonna lend no body nothing ever again lesson learned
shorladysxy90 [4:05 P.M.]:  so what u want from me
MommylilDevils [4:05 P.M.]:  she should feel bad because when I gave it to her it was working and when she gave it to me in clarks house it was not working is she gonna admit it no,
MommylilDevils [4:05 P.M.]:  thats probb why she gave it to me so easily
shorladysxy90 [4:06 P.M.]:  no cause it was working here the night before
MommylilDevils [4:06 P.M.]:  no it must have not been working
shorladysxy90 [4:06 P.M.]:  she took so she won't have to hear u scream about it
MommylilDevils [4:06 P.M.]:  because in clarks house it did not work at all and I had not even had it for an hr
MommylilDevils [4:07 P.M.]:  i couldnt do  nothing in clarks house , only check mail and chat
MommylilDevils [4:07 P.M.]:  no internet
shorladysxy90 [4:09 P.M.]:  so it was working
MommylilDevils [4:09 P.M.]:  just for mail and chatting.... what you mean it was working that aint workking
MommylilDevils [4:09 P.M.]:  she must have got a virus that is preventing it from going to the internet
shorladysxy90 [4:10 P.M.]:  well if that the way u feel than let the other one know
MommylilDevils [4:10 P.M.]:  a computer is for you to go on the internet not just for mail and chatting
MommylilDevils [4:10 P.M.]:  i already told her she says she didnt do nothing
MommylilDevils [4:10 P.M.]:  like always i come out losing
MommylilDevils [4:10 P.M.]:  its gonna cost me money to fix it and now i dont have a laptop
MommylilDevils [4:10 P.M.]:  when it was just fine
shorladysxy90 [4:11 P.M.]:  well stephanie she should never lend it to her in the begin
MommylilDevils [4:11 P.M.]:  how many times i told her no
shorladysxy90 [4:11 P.M.]:  just keep me out of it
MommylilDevils [4:11 P.M.]:  how many times she continued to ask

MommylilDevils [4:12 P.M.]:  right but if i had did that to her you would have been calling me telling me to pay for it i cant be mad at you cause it wasnt your fault but now that its my stuff no one aint gonna defend me
shorladysxy90 [4:12 P.M.]:  cause i know when i get things from somebody else i always return the same way i got it
shorladysxy90 [4:14 P.M.]:  like i said what do u want me to tell her righht now she aint got a job to fix it
MommylilDevils [4:15 P.M.]:  whatever like i said its not gonna make a difference I already know what i have to do, just bring it back and thats it I am not lending no one nothing..even though now there aint nothing to lend nobody, nobody dont want nothing from me now that my stuff is messed up
shorladysxy90 [4:15 P.M.]:  she said she would take it to ben to see what he could do about it
MommylilDevils [4:15 P.M.]:  what can he do about it

Anger turns into utter sadness... (update)

 

 

Anger has just turned into pure sadness today.

Well it was a collection agency that went and put a hold on his account. They seen he had a substantial amount of money in there and then decided to act now. Basically they did not take his money. They can not that do that without taking him to court and suing him but they can put a freeze on it which would prevent him from being able to do anything with his money. Which they did do.. He owes about 3,000 for a card that only had a 200. limit on it.  So basically now he has to reach a settlement with them. He told them that he would be able to afford 50 a mth , they immediately rejected that offer! Then he told them fine I'll give you 100 a mth. Still they denied it!! Fucking assholes want him to give them 500.00 now and then 100 a mth! There is no way that he is going to do that. We need that money for bills and rent. They are going to have to accept something lower than that or take it to court. I am sure they do not want to wait that long. Yes he owes them and yes he should have paid a long time ago but like everyone else when you are living paycheck to paycheck you can not afford to give away one extra penny. But now that it has hit him in the ass he has no choice to pay it so why cant they accept what he is willing to offer? "Sigh" I dont know what to do say or think anymore. We are both really stressed about this. So much so that we are arguing with each other over stupid things. Life is just too hard sometimes. You try and try and always something comes up. He works his ass off, we help people, we give people whatever we could, we try to live life as honestly as we could, We are not expecting anyone to give us anything but dammm cant we catch a lil break every now and again. When is God going to look at us and say ok its time you guys to have a little luck in your lives.

 

 

 

Another thing that has me down is a couple of weeks ago I lent my sister my laptop. She asked me to borrow it, I said no and she continued to harass me until I said yes. Well last week Saturday she finally gives me the laptop back and guess what? There is something wrong with the shit. I used it to do Saturday's PSP Class and to check emails. After the PSP Class I tried to go onto myspace and it wouldn't go. Any site I tried to access wouldn't load at all. I emptied out the temporary internet files and cookies I restarted it. Nothing. Of course she swears she did not do anything to it. She refuses to pay for it to get fixed. I told her that it was working when I gave it to her and its not working now so who else could have messed it up???? Like always I get the short end of the stick. My fucking family always finds a way to screw me over. Had it been me that messed something of theirs up they would have been cursing me to the high heavens and demand that I either give them the money for it or pay to fix it. But since its my shit and no one cares two shits about my feelings it doesn't matter. Now I have to pay for my own laptop to get fixed when it wasn't me who caused the problem. I have no enery anymore to fight with anyone. It wouldn't solve anything anyway they are total idiots who disregard anyone else's feeling and no matter if I screamed and cried they still wouldn't pay for a thing.

What does my mother say about all this.??? "leave me out of it". But like I said had it be the other way around this lady would have been calling me every name in the book and demand that I give my sister her money. I am so done... I can not do this anymore. I can not deal with family like this. I can not take anymore bullshit. It is all so overwhelming that all I want to do is sit and cry.

My anxiety is worse and I just feel like I am going to snap.  I am dizzy all the time and of course feeling like I can not breathe. My bodyaches and every once in a while I get a bad headache. Lord how much more do you think I can handle? Why me? Why does my life have to be so difficult? Why do I have to have this problem with myself? I swear I could deal with all life's twists and turns if I didn't have to deal with this anxiety (or what they claim is anxiety). It makes it 10 times harder and 10 times just as stressful.

Who can I turn to for comfort. There is no one. No one who will understand where I am coming from because in order to fully understand you have to have went thru something like this or are currently experiencing something like this. Ben doesn't understand me, As much as he tries to he can't because he doesn't physically feel what I am going thru. I have not met one person who when I explain what I am feeling can look me in the eye and see Yes I feel like that too. I know how it feels.

Today I have done nothing, the kids wanted me to take them to this fair but I couldnt. I was scared to because I been feeling so dizzy and crap. Of course I cant tell them that. I dont want to scare them. SO they just think that I dont want to take them.

Anyway I can go on forever but I am not... I'll leave you with a real IM that I had with my mom about the laptop...I am going to add it to another entry because AOL says that I have exceeded the maximun amount of characters.... SIGH

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WTF!!!!

 

I am so pissed off right now, matter of fact a number of emotions are going thru me at the moment.

Yesterday Ben decided to go to Mc.Dees to get the kids something to eat. No harm in that right?

Well about hf hr later he calls me and he tells me that he is coming home without any food! I asked why? This is what he tells me.

When it was time to pay for the food, he swiped his debit card. DECLINED..He tries again DECLINED. He is thinking WTF? He knows for a fact that he has money in his account! So what choice does he have but to step aside and call Customer Service at his bank.

What they tell him is this...... Well it seems like your bank account is at a negative 4,562!!!!! He is like what! That can not be possible. They also say that there is a lien or hold on his account. He asks why and where  did this come from. The lady tells him that all she can see is that NY State has placed some sort of hold on his account. THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE!! He doesn't owe NY anything. He doesn't owe taxes so what the hell else can he owe them?

The lady gives him a number to an office that is now closed and tells him he has to wait till tomorrow to call.

He gets home and he is very upset. I dont blame him, I am very upset as well. Not only did his paycheck just get deposited today, but we also deposited his entire stimilus tax payment!! So there goes all the money we  had!

So I tell him to call the bank again and demand more answers. Like how could the bank just allow someone to get into his account without contacting him.

So he calls again, once again this lady was no help. Why do hell do people choose to work in places that require you to help someone but then they refuse to help you?! So I tell him to hang up with that asshole and call again. Hopefully he will get someone who actually likes their job. I guess God heard my prayers because this lady turned out to be a very great help. She went thru all his transactions with him . It turns out that during the day $881.00 was withdrawn from the account, 1 minute later another $75.00 was withdrawn which was put down a legal processing fee. Ben says he did not make this charges and he also did not authorize anyone to make these charges. So he asks ok, so they withdrew all this money from my account so now why are they saying that I owe them 4,000? Where is that figure coming from? The Rep says that it doesn't make sense either and she doesn't understand why that number is showing up! As far as she could see they withdrew all the money he had in his account so his account is now at an even 0.00. She says she doesn't see why this other figure is showing up. She tells him to call the number to where these charges supposedly came from and let them know that he did not authorize these charges and that they need to give him his money back. If they refuse he can dispute it and the bank is supposed to refund his money within 10 days. She then passes him on to her supervisor who she says can help him understand where the 4,000 figure is coming from. Supervisor comes on the phone, is not as nice as the first rep and she says that what it is someone is saying that Ben owes them 4,000 and that they are going to try to get it from him. He asks her again WHO?? She says Well I really dont know, but I can give you an example. Maybe it can be a collection agency for a credit card.HMMM well ben did have some outstanding credit cards but not one ever totaled 4,000. He had 2 cards and they were each 200.00 limits and this was about 9 yrs ago!!!!!! So once again what is the 4,000?? She said that all she could  do was wait until tomorrow and that she would call and she advised him to call as well and find out what this is all about. She also said it could be a whole big misunderstanding.

Well I looked up information and it says that Collections Agencies CANNOT SEIZE/GARNISH your bank accounts OR wages UNLESS they have taken you to court sued and WON a judgement against you!

He has NOT gotten any summons to appear in COURT AT ALL! So if it is a collection agency, how can they be allowed to do this. It is illegal!

Yesterday was a bad day. Both of us had a huge headache and are thinking where are we going to get the money to survive till next week when he gets -paid again!

All we can do now is sit and wait for answers. I spoke to Ben a little while ago and he said that he is getting ready to call the number the bank gave him. Please keep us in your prayers and hopefully it was all a mistake. If it is a collection agency, hopefully the bank refunds his money because they were not given authority to take anything.

I am screwed as well because I just paid all MY credit cards by check just yesterday and now those checks are going to ALL bounce! I am going to get charged all kinds of ridiculous fees. This is all freaking unreal! How can people do this??

I don't know what else to say. Now this on top of everything else that we have to deal with. I mean when are we going to get a fucking break. We think we are all caught up and then something happens to bring us right back to square one. It mays you think why even bother??

There are so many people out there who do so many bad things but are living comfortably without any problems and  then there are many people like Ben and I who do things by the book and who are actually trying to do their best and we get thrown all these hurdles. I mean it makes no sense!

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How time flies....

 

Finally an entry.. It's funny how time flies for one thing but in others time couldn't go fast enough.

Things have been mostly ok. Of course they could be better but I gotta be gratful that I still have my life and my 3 kids are all happy and healthy. I have been online just not making any journal entries. Really didn't have the motivation to write. Most of my time has been spent helping Debbie with our group and messing with PSP.

Ughhh this heat is just killing me. I hate when its winter everyone is complaining how they cant wait till summer and then summer gets here and now we're all complaining about the damm heat lol.

I have never liked the heat and if I could move somewhere its always around the 50's I would.

Not much been going on lately. We celebrated my older son's and daughter's birthdays. Now I just have one more birthday and then we're done lol. We went to Great Adventures. The kids loved it and so did Ben lol. I didn't get on hardly any rides. For some reason this year I am a scaredy cat. My middle son was very disappointed that he couldn't join the others on all the roller coasters. He is the right age but he is just too dammm short lol. He is praying that he grows another inch or two before his birthday so that if we do go again this time he can conquer those coasters. Poor baby I seriously doubt its going to happen. He was cursed with the short gene from me lol.

Guess what? Those of you who have been reading this my journal for a while should know that my mother in law lived next door to me . You might also know all the drama that was going on with that. WELLLL she has finally moved!!! Yep she finally decided that it was time to stop being a freeloader and look for another place where she could freeload from. Unbelievable right? She went from having her own bathroom and kitchen to sharing them with another family.! And paying the same amount if not more for just a room, I mean I dont get people. Why couldn't she just pay her rent here and live a little more comfortably even if it was a basement apt.

The landlady had someone fix it up and now there is 2 bedrooms, a small living room and kitchen plus the bathroom, plus you get the backyard and all she had to pay was 600.00.

OHHH well her loss,

 

I am still not back on the zoloft, I thought everything was great because I was fine without it but recently I have been feeling anxious all day and a couple of times have even gone from anxiety to full blown panic attacks. I really do not want to get back on the zoloft again, I dont know if I am going to have a choice though, What scares me is that I was watching this tv program "Women behind Bars",. There was a lady who was locked up for killing her 5 yr old twin boys, She blames it on the zoloft that she was prescribed for depression, She said that it started to make her hallucinate and make her more depressed. This never happened to me but now I am scared what if this were to happen?.

The only side effect that I can see now that I have been off of it was that the zoloft would make me want to sleep all day. I also think that it somehow made me gain weight because I hardly eat and I have gained so much. I dont know but hopefully I can manage this thing and stay off meds for good.

 

What else? Well I am thinking about closing my tag journal down. Reason being is that I just dont have time to tag so many names. It's not fair to you guys to have to wait mths until you get the tag you requested from me. Either I close it or I just make it a snag journal since I am still making tags. We'll see.

 

I think its time for a journal makeover lol. I have seen so many journals that look awesome. I have basically neglected my lil journal so we'll see if I spruce it up a little.

 

This month Ben and I had a preganancy scare. My sister and I usually get our periods around the same time. She came over one day and said she got hers. UMMM Ohh No I havent gotten mine yet. So of course I freaked out. Started crting and praying that I was not pregnant for the next 4 days. I realiazed that I really do not want any more kids. It is too much with just, Imagine another. Not only that but a lot of people think about how cute newborns and toddlers are. But no one really thinks about the long term. Like even when these kids grow up you still have to worry about them and if they are ever in a jam we still have to be able to help them. This is a job that lasts forever and as they get older it only gets worse. I have 3 kids to out thru college, I have 3 kids whose futures I have to worry about. Its not all about buying cute clothes and buying them toys anymore. I am nervous about what the future holds, so with all I know that I do not want another kid to worry about. I am seriously thinking that I want to get my tubes cut. I just dont know too much about the procedure and I am scared that I am going to be in a lot of pain., Ben said he is willing to get a vasectomy but I told him he seriously needs to think about that. I told him I already have 3 kids that are mine, he only has one that is biologically his. What happens if we were to separate and he was to meet someone. He said that he wasnt planning on seperating and to him he has 3 kids and thats that. So I dont know but honestly I think that I would do it before I let him have a vasectomy.

If anyone knows anything about tubal ligation or who has done one please email me with some information. I would be very grateful.

Well I think that is all for today,. I will try to update more often but I'm not making any promises.

Love to all... Hope all is well with everyone.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hugs,

Steph

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